Forgiving My Father

I spent years being angry with my Father.  Years of recounting, remembering, and rehashing alllll of the ways he disappointed or damaged me. 

For example, when I would chew crunchy food, he would remark, “You crunch so loud, you must have a hollow head.”  Or, when I laughed loudly, he would say, “You laugh like a jackass.”  Another memory was when I had a new boyfriend come over to take me out for a date and my old one showed up in a rage.  My Father quickly left the room stating, “What do you want me to do, he is bigger than me?”  And, the big daddy of them all - - - he had an affair and our family broke up when I was seventeen years old. 

Now why in the world would I mention these things at a time when we are so focused on honoring our Fathers on Father’s Day?  Because I have forgiven him of allll of these things! I have also learned that for every one of these awful things, there are ten good things.  And, I have also discovered that it does not serve me to hang onto all that stuff.

Forgiveness is the pathway to love.

Forgiveness is a spiritual practice.  I am eternally grateful to Louise Hay for being the teacher that I needed to heal the hurts and to guide me in acknowledging that my Father “was doing the best he could with the knowledge, experience, and awareness” that he had at that time. 

Louise also taught me that people “do” what they have learned to do.  This made total sense to me.  I also heard Jack Canfield make the statement .. “Do you think that our parents wake up in the morning and say to themselves … How do we mess up the their lives today? Of course not!”

My Father learned how to be by his parents.  Then his parents learned from their parents, and it goes on and on and on. 

The point is that my Father has always done the best he could.  Through the eyes of love and a heart filled with compassion I’ve been able to grow and completely understand this. 

The result: My Father and I have a wonderful relationship.  I honor him for ALL of who he is.  And, today I choose to remember all of the great things he did for me.  He may not have given me what I wanted, but I do believe that he gave me what I needed.   

I am grateful for my Father and I love him exactly as he is.